There are parts of your story you may choose to never share. There are other parts you may never share online. Maybe there are parts you plan to share in a book somewhere down the line. If you’re like me, however, you will share most of your story face to face once we know each other. There are reasons for that.
First, we need to understand the roads each of us has traveled in order to determine which parts of our story will be useful to each other. I could dump my whole saga as a series of posts on this blog and it would reek of one great big attention grab. That’s not useful for anyone. I’m in the early days of understanding the value my story holds for you and others. I’m also in the early days of being comfortable sharing most of it with people I know and trust.
Second, there are skeletons in all our closets and we need to respect the privacy of others who were touched by and are characters in the tale. I’ll never name names. The behavior I engaged in and the mistakes I made are my own. As the events move further into my past I am learning how to share the history without the gory details. The details don’t matter, the story is an opportunity to be there for others.
Recently, during BlogWorld I began to share some of the difficult parts of my past with different people. This grew from hearing their stories and then I was able to give back parts of my story in exchanges that occurred in a tiny closed communities of no more than three or four people. In every case I was thanked for sharing and thanked the others for sharing as well.
During a story sharing lunch with several friends, we determined that, social media and community are a way to know we are not alone in the world. Our problems are not unique. Others have dealt with or are dealing with the same situations.
How much of your story do you share? Who and in what medium do you share it? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Hi Jim, you know I’ve gone through this sharing via my Twitter and blog. I’m pretty much open about everything. I realized recently that this was due to this being a completely new set of friends who had no expectations of me. That makes it easier to share. The ones who gravitated toward me accepted me for who they already knew I was. There was no danger of losing anyone close to me because of mistakes. I feel like this would make a good blog post topic, but I just wanted to add this in your comments.
And to your point about social media helping us not to feel alone… nodding, nodding. So true. Also, knowing that others have experienced and solved every problem we’ll have. Makes me think of something Will Smith once said. “The keys to life are running and reading”: http://youtu.be/KEMEBBwO6J8
Anne,
You make a really good point. It’s easier to talk about the screw ups in your life with the people who didn’t know you when you were screwing up. And for those who did know me, well they have stuck around so they are either family or the kind of friends one can only dream of having in their life.
LOVE LOVE LOVE the video. Will mark that as one of my goto favorites. So many people think Hollywood people don’t work hard. The most successful of them are the hardest working. There just are not shortcuts in life worth taking.
Love ya Annie!
Curious – how do you share some parts without all the parts? My past is quite… well.. interesting and yet I find it difficult to share only some of the parts (when I do share) as they don’t tell the whole story.
I guess for me it’s about listening carefully to what the other person is looking for. I’m not sure if it’s validation or just knowing that someone else has been through that particular thing. Hard to put into words, I guess I just do it.
I don’t share very much of my story. At all. There are times that I think I should share more, but there are always considerations.
Mark, It’s quite possible I over share but that’s who I am. I try not to dump my story on unwilling ears but instead wait for those moments when I feel like it will add to the conversation and be useful to the audience (even if that’s only one person).
Jim, I love that you mentioned that social media makes you feel as if you aren’t alone. This is so true. For me, it also makes me aware that my bad day might not be so bad compared to someone else’s.
Hey Jess, Love knowing you’re here and reading. I’m beginning to realize that for me just knowing someone else’s bad day is worse than mine does not really help. I need to get a handle on how bad is this day really? I mean seriously, I woke up relatively healthy(and totally loved by many) and all the rest of the “stuff” that may or may not be broken can be fixed or changed with time and hard work – right?
-Jim
I’ve just begun sharing my story, but only in person and only with certain people. That’s a first step and it’s been mighty hard to take the plunge. But I think our stories are important to share as part of the purpose for our being here. You never know who will be touched or even healed by hearing a snippet of what we’ve been through–good or bad.
Amy,
I love your “you never know who will be touched or even healed” – that’s what it’s really all about.
Glad to see you here 🙂
-Jim