When I wrote “Replace “ums” with Pregnant Pauses when Speaking,” I never expected to circle back to the post as a way to swear less on social media – and in real life, for that matter. It is, however, that simple. When you feel like letting an f-bomb (or some equally offensive language) fly – stop! One split second is all it takes.
Swearing is emotional
I’ve taken a look at when I swear; both in real life and in social media. It’s normally a raw emotional response to a situation. What would happen if for one second you held your tongue and thought about the situation? I’m sure you’d still have something to say but it might be more measured and effective.
Just a few minutes ago, I sent a text to a friend “I94 is a f-bombing nightmare.” Is that what I really meant to say? No, what I actually meant to say was “I94 is a real mess with all this construction.” Which text would you rather get? Me? The latter, thank you.
Leadership is about being the calmest person in the room
Constant swearing is a sign of someone not being thoughtful and contemplative of the current situation. In a crisis, are you more likely to follow the leader who is swearing up a storm or the one who is speaking slowly, clearly and calmly?
I’ve heard it said that swearing shows a lack of vocabulary. I prefer to think of it as acting too quickly to let my brain make use of the vocabulary I have. Go back and look at my text message example. The first text tells you nothing except I’m being emotional. The second, in only a few more words, provides context that has meaning even now after the fact.
The other option is that you’re trying to emulate your favorite comedian who swears for effect. Just remember that, like gratuitous nudity, gratuitous swearing loses its effectiveness quickly. At a certain point, most reasonable people say enough already.
I have been frustrating with my Internet Service Provider since my Internet Connection dies at about 8:30am every day. I usually can hold a good argument and get my point across without swearing. The other day after many weeks frustrated with getting the same type of attitude from there customer service representative I dropped a few swear words.
The next day when I called in a made sure not to fall into that trap. What was weird was I got the same person the next day and she acted the same way and also hung up on me after I started requesting a supervisor. I called back the next day and she got the message that I wanted my issue resolved although I felt like dropping a few swear words I have to say although the issue has not gotten fixed she has cleaned up her act.
I still feel bad I lost my temper and work every day into not falling into those traps your post will serve me as a reminder today to be the calmest person on the phone. Thanks Jim
Raul,
See, that’s the kind of swearing I’m talking about – the kind that comes from frustration. If you are swearing to make a point or tell a joke – okay I can deal with that. It’s the kind that comes from the blind rage we all experience from time-to-time when totally frustrated with a situation. I’m working on it and glad it know you are as well 🙂
Jim
Hmmm, I think I disagree.
Odd, I can only think of one or two times that I’ve ever heard you swear and never on social media….
I’m pretty sure I disagree with this, but I’m also pretty sure I’m not a reasonable person either.
🙂
Since writing this I found my inner drunken sailor and swear pretty much at will in both twitter and in text messages. I just try to keep it off Facebook, Google+ and out of blog posts wherever they may be published.