Some Unsolicited Advice on Unsolicted Advice

Authors Note: The original title was “You’re Doing It Wrong” but then my friend Mark Fairbanks provided some unsolicited advice to change the title to the one you see above.

I’m guessing that well meaning critics have shared the dreaded “You’re Doing It Wrong” with you at one time or another in your life. Me too, and my new pat answer is pretty simple (it’s at the end of the post if you would like to read ahead).

Unsolicited advice. Problem number one with the above scenario is that the advice was not asked for. If you’re one of those individuals dishing out unsolicited advice (and I’m guilty of this too) please stop and ask yourself what your personal motivation for doing so is. We are all human and have egos, so hearing “You’re doing it wrong” can be tough to take when you’re walking down a new path. I find that when I’m guilty of this behavior, I’m usually pointing out the things in my own behavior and character I like least.

Delivery of the advice. A friend recently shared unsolicited advice about not calling any customer my “best,” #1 or #2 customer. First, it was great advice. Second, she asked if she could share some thoughts on a conversation I was involved in that she had observed on Twitter. She told me MAYBE “You’re doing it wrong.” There is a world of difference in how she delivered this valuable yet unsolicited advice and those that come right out and tell you how to do it “their way.” See the difference?

Really know the person. Unsolicited advice is great when it comes from people inside your circle of trust who know you and understand the direction your life and business are headed. When my wife offers unsolicited advice, I’m good with that. She knows me, has my best interest at heart and she knows I trust her. You may want to think before offering advice to someone who does not fit those criteria. That or master delivery skills like the friend I mentioned in the previous paragraph.

Instead of offering the advice. Next time you feel the urge to offer some unsolicited advice to someone “a few rings out” in your circle of trust maybe try this. Ask what you could work onto to make your own life and that of your family better with those five or ten minutes. It’s always nice to have your own house in order before throwing stones at the glass one next door.

The irony of it all. Yes, I see the irony of a post on unsolicited advice about telling people you’re doing it wrong. Go ahead and laugh or perhaps consider this advice. It’s not unsolicited you came here of your own free will to read what I had to say today and thank you for that.

My pat answer. “Thanks for caring about and trusting me enough to offer up this advice. I just want to double check and make sure you think your own house is in order before I start accepting advice from you.” Nasty, maybe? The more I write and speak publicly the more I understand the posts by those ahead of me on the success continuum about dealing with criticism.

Your turn, any advice on offering up unsolicited advice? The comments are yours for the taking my friends have some fun with this one.