Each day of your life you are going to have small stumbles and sometimes big falls. In your personal life and your professional life you will make mistakes, it’s inevitable. None of us, not any single one, is perfect.
You woke up this morning and all the rest of it can be fixed. Think about that, let it sink in for a few moments. Part of living is the ability to pick yourself back up in the face of adversity. There’s a continuum of adversity and I believe it’s different for each of us. My friend had brain surgery yesterday, and is now laying in a hospital bed recovering. I guarantee you my friend is damn happy to be alive. Got some perspective now? Let’s continue then.
Separate the important from the trivial. A broken nail or a broken iPod for that matter, are not a big deal. Even my cell phone being “lost” for ten minutes yesterday was not nearly the big deal I thought it was at the moment. Hell, I trashed three cell phones in one year once. I survived each time for the 24ish hours it took to get replacements. These are not events that should require you to pick yourself back up.
Adversity and problems are part of life. I don’t know about you but I’m not trading my adversities and problems with anyone. My adversities and problems define me. I am who I am because of them. I spent last Summer in various stages of grief for about 4 or 5 things depending how you look at it. Sucked at the time. Wouldn’t be the writer I am today had I not gone through it. Problems like this require you to pick yourself back up.
Don’t expect others to clean up your messes. I got out of the mess that was last Summer the moment I realized it was all of my own making. I mean obviously I couldn’t bring my Dad back but I could sure as hell man up and deal with it. I did the work (yes, that’s code for I saw a therapist). Why the heck would you not seek professional help if it’s available? I didn’t expect Paul to fix my problems but instead to help me understand them and get better. I did.
Don’t make messes for other people. In hindsight I’m pretty sure I made messes for a lot of people in my life over the last ten years. Again, the moment I realized that and started fixing it, my life got infinitely better. In the case of my wife, I simply decided to start being nice again. Funny thing happened, she was nice back. Amazing, I know. It’s the simple and obvious stuff that trips most of us up.
If you ask me for help, I’ll be here to help you pick yourself back up. All you have to is ask and be willing to do the work to clean up your own mess. OK?
Randy Murray says
Great points.
For myself, I'd add, “Be compassionate and help others deal with their messes.”
I fully expect to deal with the problems I make, but when I move outside myself and extend a hand, that's when I feel the most successful and productive.